Punishment
by Faba
Summary: I am a punishment for my mother… and this is my punishment… this pain and suffering. [one shot Fiyero and Elphaba's POV]


**Disclaimer: I don't own it, dear. **

**Author's Note: This is for Zarri on her birthday! Even though it's a bit late… **

**This isn't book verse or musical verse… it doesn't quite fit anything, so just imagine she's the Wicked Witch in hiding after the 'melting'… but… Fiyero's a human… for some reason… **

**And, this is horrible angst, in which I am almost ashamed that I am doing this, to two of my favorite characters… I am a horrible person, but if you flame me for the stupid reason of character torture, I shall stare at it, ponder over your deep thoughts, feel bad about writing this for a millisecond, and delete the message off of my E-mail. Hardly worthy of your precious time. **

**I hope some of you will enjoy this. **

'**M' rated? I don't think it needs to be, but… **

I know not how many nights, now, I have sat beside her and held her. I know not how many nights I have lain beside her and cried while her eyelids fluttered weakly. Every day I dab at her forehead while she grips my hand, pain in her eyes. Who knew the eyes that had once caused me great joy in heat, could now cause me great pain in sickness? Who knew that such a simple joy could bring out the worst of hurt? I regret all when I look into those eyes.

I regret all. I have put her through this anguish. But, she had also begged, and who was I to deny the everlasting pleasure? Not long after, she was pregnant. Gradually, as she progressed, we started to realize that something was wrong. She hadn't gained weight, but we knew she was with child… we both knew. She was sick in the mornings often, and ate more than usual. She had to be.

Every day through this tender sickness, I hold her close, stroke her hair, and tell her all was to be fine… while secretly hoping that I was right. I don't want to doubt my lover, but she seems so weak. She used to be powerful, strong, and able to stand all obstacles. Now, she's… so… so vulnerable.

"Fiyero, he is punishing me…"

At first, I thought she was dreaming, talking to a dream allusion of myself, but she was definitely awake, blinking, and about to sit up.

I slid closer and laid a hand on her stomach, stopping her from moving. "Stay down. You need to keep up any strength you have for this baby…"

"He is punishing me. The Unnamed God… I was never worthy to birth one of his children…"

"Elphaba, where is this coming from?" I wiped her forehead down. "You're delusional… this isn't like you."

"I am a punishment for my mother… and this is my punishment… this pain and s-suffering." She looked at me with a heavy heart. "I am just a-a penalty for my mother's sluttish… actions… uh, yes, her actions. Now… I need my own p-punishment."

"What have you done wrong?" he demanded angrily. "You have done nothing. You _are worthy_. Why would you have gotten pregnant?"

"Because he needed something to torture me with… an unborn child must have been the best choice…"

"Elphie…" I scooted even closer and lay down next to her, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "I love you. You have done nothing wrong and the Unnamed God knows that. Since when did you believe in the Unnamed God, anyway?"

"Since when did you?" she retorted weakly.

"Elphaba, you're not religious." I turned her head toward me. "You're just getting worse."

"I am not religious." She started to cough, so I took at blanket out and draped it over her.

"You've gained weight," I murmured, changing the subject, and deciding to run my fingers through her silky hair.

"I am pregnant, aren't I? I had to gain weight sometime." At first, Elphaba stiffened at my touch, but soon relaxed and started to doze slightly. "My punishment is this… and I should take it…"

"At least we have each other," I said lovingly. "We'll get through this… together…" I gave her arm a squeeze to emphasize my point.

Elphaba didn't answer. She was once again asleep.

Pleading my heart to hold is breaking me all the same. If she keeps scaring my like this, I'm afraid I'll shatter and become strewn across Oz in countless pieces. Elphaba… you torture me so…

Why must we suffer this pain and torment? Elphaba has done nothing… she is not wicked… she… sometimes I think she is more good than Glinda herself. Sometimes, I curse Oz at night for being so cruel to one that was just trying to make it in life.

"Fiyero, it's cold tonight," Elphaba whispered. "Is there another blanket?"

For a second I thought my heart had dropped out of my chest. "No. I'm sorry, Fae." I pushed up against her, trying to aid her with body heat. "This all we have."

She said no more.

**XxX**

Cold, cold, cold darkness, cold sickness. Cold, very cold… Fiyero, keep me warm… don't leave me…

**XxX**

I awoke filled with contempt and felt drugged beyond belief. The sunlight flittered through the trees' canopy, and rained on my eyes. I blinked several times to rid my vision of the spots, but had barely any luck. Birds chirped above me, flying like miniature torpedoes through the air. I twitched at this slightly and had a hard time resisting the urge to throw and stone and hit one in the gut heartlessly.

Elphaba lay beside me, spread out uncomfortably on the soft, dirt-packed earth. Her stomach was larger in size than it looks at night, and every day it surprises me more. I laid a hand on her stomach and smiled when the baby kicked back. It might be soon… my smile dropped.

She coughed in sleep and turned over, to lie on her side awkwardly. It might be soon… it might be soon. We were living in the woods… she couldn't give birth here. She wouldn't be able to make it… and Ozma knows I know shit about how to deliver a baby. I know shit about much.

One point for Elphie for waking up at a bad time. My hair was ruffled from worry and I was pacing around the clearing, throwing my arms up, cursing, kicking the dirt in fury, the works… and it wasn't pretty.

Then, she went and looked up at me with her perfect round eyes, blinking drowsily. "Yero, what is…" she yawned, "what is it?" Killer cuteness, it burns.

I melted on the spot. I had had no inspiration of what to do. Even then, her vulnerability shone at me, practically blinding. How was I to get this pregnant, green woman that is believed to be dead, and hated everywhere, into an infirmary? I put my hand to my head. "Good lord."

Her eyes froze on me, all drowsiness forgotten. "What? What is it?" I stared. "Fiyero, is anything the matter?"

I couldn't worry her… I wouldn't. She had enough on her plate already. I gulped. "No-no… _no_. We just… need to go somewhere…"

Her eyes widened. "I don't know if you noticed…" a cough stopped her mid-sentence and I flinched, "but I am in no condition to travel."

This was getting worse… she wasn't thinking anything through. And at that moment, I suddenly knew what it was like to step into her shoes. "Elphie… Elphaba, my lover, my Fae, you can't _give birth_ here…"

Elphaba sat up and looked at me, with her eyes rounded, obviously thinking carefully. When her eyes widened once more, I knew it had dawned on her. She immediately catapulted into shock. My breath caught in my chest as I ran toward her and let her lay her head atop my shoulder. She started shaking violently, in spasms of grief. "Fiyero, I-I'm screwed. _I a-am going to die_…"

I felt tears of my own surface. "No you're not… I won't let you." He pulled her into an embrace. "Death couldn't keep us apart."

"How could you protect me from death, if you couldn't protect me from life…?"

I burst into tears.

She kept silent for a moment, but soon whispered into my ear, "and life has kept us a-apart… hasn't it… why should death be any-any different?" her voice cracked, but she refused to cry. Instead, she held me awkwardly, bearing by me… with our child squished between us.

All day Elphaba was quiet, and only talked when she complained that they needed to rest, which was admittedly often. I didn't rush her, but walked steadily beside, gripping her shoulder and helping her stay up if she ever stumbled. I knew that this was beyond hard for her, but she stayed strong, and I am so proud of her.

At about midday, though, I placed my hand to her forehead and noticed that her temperature had risen. She had also worked up a sweat and was stumbling more often. I gently coaxed her to sit down and hugged her shoulders. "Are you okay?"

It took her a moment to answer, but soon she murmured, "I'm fine…" She sounded slurred. "He has just been kicking a lot…"

"Really?" I touched her stomach and the baby kicked again. "Oh, the baby knows who their daddy is." I smiled at Elphaba and kissed her softly. She didn't refuse, but kissed back. When we finally broke apart, we decided she was ready to start moving again. So, I helped her up and we continued our walk toward town. Hopefully, I had left my doubt behind me… no such luck.

I kept wheedling her to walk, but, she, of course, was persistently denying me. "Fiyero, I'll walk as fast as I can. I'm with child." It felt good to see the old, scornful frown again. Even though, this time, it wasn't as threatening as it had been back in school.

"We need to get there, though…" I was growing ever anxious.

"I know," she responded coldly. "We will get there. Now, I would appreciate it if you would stop pressuring me."

"Are you feeling moody?" I asked, crushed.

"Maybe a bit queasy, but I have my reasons." She flashed me a knowing look.

Life is a hard thing. I watched Elphaba all day. I know when life is hard. Her facial expressions were killing me enough, but when she stooped to the ground suddenly, I practically had a heart attack.

"Elphaba, are you okay?" I gasped, going down to her level.

"I can't walk anymore," she murmured. "I hurt too much."

I pulled her over to a tree and leaned against it, placing her head on my shoulder and let her sleep there. I clutched her soft, emerald arm in my hand and rubbed it, soothing her. She fell asleep quickly, obviously exhausted.

Was I doing wrong by taking her to the city? By making her travel? No… she had to be put into an infirmary… she had to… or else… I straightened my face and wouldn't let myself think such things. It was my fault from the beginning. I got her pregnant. Then, I didn't think anything through. I had never thought about what would happen when the baby actually came. If Elphaba had been herself, I know she would have seen this coming. But, she wasn't herself. She had trusted me to care for her, to know what to do. I've obviously let her down. I've obviously broken her heart.

Elphaba shuffled, moaned, twitched. Her head turned on my shoulder and roused me awake. She moaned again, moving around even more. I placed my arms around her and tried to soothe the green lady in her sleep, but she refused to calm.

It was daylight again and sunlight once again shone through the canopy. The birds were chirping, but when Elphaba wailed all got silent. She twisted and turned, soon opening her eyes and started to squirm.

"F-Fi-Fiyero," she moaned. "I-I…" She grunted and clutched her stomach.

No.

She breathed in and out. "I-I feel—" She dropped her head to the ground, and grunted in pain.

Good Ozma, no.

"Fiyero!" she cried again. "I-I'm… having contractions! The b-baby's coming!"

No. I looked on in horror. My worst nightmare has happened. Oh, Oz, I'm too late.

"Don't just sit there! Do something!" She started to breath rapidly, and shriek out in pain. "_Fiyero_!"

I started to panic. Elphie's baby was coming… it was coming… what was I to do!? "Fae… Fae! What can I do!?"

"Find somebody… _anybody_." Her face twisted with pain as she pleaded. "_Help_... I need help!" She started to break out into a sweat, while she trembled on the ground. "Go, now, Fiyero! Ozspeed, love, Ozspeed!" Another shriek escaped her mouth.

I wasted no time, but bolted away. I could still here her cries of pain from far away and couldn't believe I had left her to fend on her own during this. Once again, her vulnerability hit me, like an arrow in the side. "_Somebody_, anybody, help!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

**XxX**

Pain. More of it. I tried to stumble up, but was blown down again by another swell of agony in the abdomen. I, once again, came crashing down to the earth, gasping for breath, wiping my sopping forehead. I ripped off my leggings and felt warm water crash between my legs in a large wave. My teeth grit by themselves on instinct and I let another yell fly. Pain. Even more of it.

**XxX**

I ran as fast as I could. The air was crisp, thick, cold, and hard to breathe in. My lungs felt pressured and I had a hard time keeping my legs from buckling beneath my body.

How could I let this happen? Why? _Why_? I felt like slapping myself silly, but I couldn't stop… no… I had to do this for Elphie. I had to do this for my beautiful Fabala… my beautiful Fae.

I skid around the trees as quickly as I could, I stumbled over roots, scraped my elbows on briars, but I didn't give up. I kept on.

I squinted my eyes. Houses. Yes! Buildings! Dirt roads! Yes! Yes! Yes! The city!

**XxX**

I gasped heavily, and closed my eyes. My stomach tightened and released, making me heave and wail some more. By now, my hair was plastered against my head, sticky with cold sweat. I wanted it to end… I wanted to just die right there… let it stop. What did I do? I loved a person and this is what I got? Another contraction, fuller and sharper than the last… I let my head fall against the earth. Life was cruel.

**XxX**

Where was the infirmary!? I ran up to a woman and pleaded to her. "Where is your infirmary? Please, this is important."

She blinked. "Over there, sir, but—"

I shook her hand. "Thank-you." Then, I pelted toward the direction she had pointed, practically shaking with worry. Elphie, hold it together, lover, hold it together.

I pounded on the door of the infirmary. "Hello? Anyone there?" No answer. "Oh, dear Oz, you have to be kidding me!" I kicked the door. Once. Twice. Thrice. Still no answer.

My breath stopped abruptly. This wasn't happening… this wasn't… Then, sitting on the steps of the entrance, I held my head in my hands. I had run all the way here for nothing. I could have stayed with Elphaba and done all I could for our child… but I didn't. Now, I could imagine her dying. Elphaba dying and my baby dying too… our baby... the baby was mine… how was that so hard to believe? It was hard to imagine me being the father of Elphaba Thropp's first child. Her first and only? This time I did slap myself… several times.

**XxX**

Sluggish breath… slow, painful breath…

I sit here with my legs spread apart, crying, burning, reality burrowing in on my failed resistance.

"Fiyero!" I yelled. Where was he? Burning tears.

**XxX**

"Sir, sir, I tried to tell you. No one is there today." The woman shook my shoulder.

"Why not?" I scoffed angrily. "People don't stop giving birth because the people at the infirmary wish to take a day off."

She immediately stopped and soaked in what I had just said. "What? Who is giving birth? Where?"

"In the forest. We were traveling here, but then the baby started coming…" I shook my head. "She's also been sick… is there_ anyone_ that can help?" Desperation shone in my eyes, and I saw her stiffen.

"Oh, course, any woman knows how to birth a child. We'll get a wagon and I'll round up my daughters. They'll know what to do."

I could've kissed her. "Thank-you, you have no idea what this means to me."

**XxX**

I heaved in breath again, shaking from exhaustion and effort. Dirt was wedged under my nails and I kept pulling up the grass on either side of me. The inside of my thighs were still wet and felt clammy, while my forehead and neck burned. Rage at myself and at Fiyero surfaced.

"Fiyero!" I screamed again, lifting my head up. I shrieked.

**XxX**

I heard Elphaba scream and glanced worriedly at Anythea, the woman who so graciously had agreed to help. I swallowed deeply. "That was her."

She nodded and urged the horses pulling the wagon faster.

When I saw Elphaba on the ground, I practically threw myself off of the wagon and raced to her side. Her face stiffened. "S-So," she gasped, "you finally decided to come back?" She had another spasm-like contraction, and looked away from me.

"Elphaba." I grabbed her arm.

Anythea and her daughters ran over with blankets, and warm water. Elphaba recoiled and her breath caught in her throat. "No. Water…"

I nodded. "No water." I took it away from Anythea.

Anythea stared at Elphaba. "You're the Wicked Witch of—"

I stopped her. "Does it really matter?"

Soon, I was pushed away from the scene, seeing as me being around was just infuriating Elphaba even more. She was trying to give birth, as Anythea had pointed out, being sarcastically observant, she didn't need my explanations now.

I still watched from afar, though. I still flinched as her body convulsed in rippling tremors, and fiddled with anything I could find… anything to take my mind off of Elphaba, and her loud yelling and convulsions.

"Fiyero, come help me. She's past out!"

This speech jolted me out of my dream world. "What?" I asked quickly, running over. My heart leapt. Why was there so much blood? No.

Anythea immediately dropped a small bundle into my arms, and before I even knew it, I was staring at my child, wrapped heavily in cloth. She was so beautiful. My head was spinning so fast that I hardly had enough time to know what was happening.

"Make sure she's okay," Anythea directed me. "We're trying to stop the blood."

Blood. The word leaped into my mind and I could've sworn the world stopped spinning. "What is wrong with her?" I mumbled, dropping down to Elphaba's side while still cradling my daughter. Daughter. That word crept in my self-conscious, as well.

I brushed Elphaba's cheek. "Elphie?" Her face was wet with sweat and red. I could see where she had bitten deep into her lips, giving herself nasty puncture wounds. I could see that the blood had spilled down her face, and onto her dress, staining it permanently.

I averted my gaze away from her emotionless face and placed my hair tenderly on her chest, feeling her breath steadily up and down. She was still alive, thank goodness. Was it going to stay like that?

"It won't stop!" one of the girls wailed. "Mom, the blood won't stop coming!"

Anythea pushed her aside. "Come on, come on," she pleaded, grabbing more cloth. "Fiyero, have you checked her?"

Remembering what I was supposed to be doing, I took a look at the small life I held in my hands. She wasn't crying… and she wasn't asleep… that was odd for a baby. She just looked up at me with pretty chocolate brown eyes, drowsily. It reminded me of someone, and I immediately fell in love.

"Fiyero…" someone murmured.

I almost dropped the baby as I looked over to see Elphaba waking up. "Elphaba!" I practically yelled.

She cringed at the sudden noise and blinked a few times, coughing. "Fi-yer-yero… I'm in pain…"

Anythea looked up. "I think she's stopping bleeding, Fiyero. But, just be careful with her… she's still weak and needs to get taken to a nice bed. We'll help you take her to the infirmary."

"I thought that no one was there…"

"We can make someone be there," she remarked with a scowl.

I looked at Elphaba. "You won't hurt for long," I promised, brushing her hair out of her eyes. "Look, this is our daughter. She's beautiful. Just like you are."

Elphaba smiled weakly and held her child in her arms. Her face froze, and she emitted a choking sound, in which she started to shake.

**XxX**

Oz forbade I get something good in my life. Oz forbade I get something in return for my suffering... Oz forbade this life I have… does me justice. Ever.

Every child born into Oz is a new thought of the Unnamed God, an ever fresh and radiant possibility. Every first cry of a baby is the call of life, a new young being. Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. What if this isn't true for my birthed child?

"Fiyero… how can she be beautiful?" I asked, on the verge of tears.

"What do you mean? She's perfect in every way."

"She's green."

_This is my punishment. _

**Oh, my, that took all day to write! I hope you appreciate it, Zarri… Whew… I feel like I've just completed a ten chapter story instead of a ten page one-shot… Perhaps it is because it is almost like a story… Anyway, that didn't come out as planned. If it is horribly stupid, tell me so… **


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